We research infidelity and discuss five ways to tell if your partner is cheating on you. So, if you’re thinking about having ’a bit on the side’ or think he/she might be, read on.
Infidelity, the action or state of being unfaithful to a spouse or other sexual partner, we all fear it, and most of us, especially men who often use their animal urges to do the thinking for them, would engage in a little bit of hanky-panky if given half the chance.
But how can you be certain your partner is being faithful to you? In this article, we reveal five ways to tell if your partner is cheating on you.
5. Social media – a sure giveaway
They used to say about one recent American President who was suspected, accused, and more or less found guilty of being unfaithful “that dog won’t sit on his own porch.”
When people talk about unfaithful partners they normally refer to the man as being more likely to go sniffing around another porch. But let me tell you, women are at it too.
Years ago, if you suspected your partner of being unfaithful, you could follow them, stalk them, and hide in the bushes with binoculars trained on nightclub entrances.
Nowadays it’s way easier. Just hack into their smartphones and check their private messages.
You don’t need to be James Bond or a card-carrying member of the CIA to bypass your partner’s pattern protected phone unlock pattern, simply dust the screen with a light coating of talcum powder and tilt the screen to a strong light source, and the most frequently used pattern will reveal itself.
Of course, if he/she is being unfaithful and has read this the first thing they’ll do is rush out a buy a secret cheap mobile. But then that in itself is a sure giveaway.
4. Clean underwear – an unusual habit for men
This one only works for the ladies who may think that their partners are ‘getting the leg over’ with Mary down the road or Joan in accounts.
You see, we all know that women change their underwear nearly as often as they change their minds, which is about sixteen times a day, but not so men.
So ladies, if you notice your fella asking for clean underwear at an increased frequency, displaying a newfound interest in aftershave and deodorant, and actually going out himself to buy clothes, then yes, I’m afraid you’re right, he’s getting it somewhere else.
3. Working late – nobody works late in Ireland
This one’s a dead give away.
Nobody works late in Ireland, and if they do, they don’t come home smelling of cheap perfume or aftershave.
No, if this begins to happen, start to worry and begin to secretly search handbags and pockets for suspicious receipts.
Of course, at this stage, you should have already started hacking into their smartphone (see above) and should be able to access their mobile banking app for unusual transactions.
2. An overactive or new interest in kinky sex – where did this come from?
Suppose your partner has already started or is seriously considering having an affair. In that case, you might find that he/she has developed a new and varied routine that surpasses the mediocre sex you’ve been having for the past year or so.
Of course, if in the throes of passion your partner starts saying, “Oh Jaysus Sheila that was wonderful”, and your name is Bridget, well it’s time to start taking scissors to his clothes and consult a solicitor.
1. New hobbies – no, they didn’t just fancy trying something new
When your partner starts taking up a new hobby like wilderness survival weekends in remote locations that don’t have mobile phone coverage, you can be sure he/she is having an affair.
The best thing to do here is to offer to accompany them with an “I’d like to be more a part of your life and share your interests” statement and see the reaction you get when he/she is forced to cancel the five-star hotel weekend getaway that he/she has planned for his/her bit on the side.
Well, there you have it: five sure-fire ways to tell if your partner is cheating on you. You know sometimes you wonder is monogamy all it’s cracked up to be.