Close Menu
Meanwhile in Ireland
  • Home
  • News
  • Craic
  • Sports
  • More
    • All-Time Top Articles
    • Culture
    • Dublin
    • Funny
    • Irish People
    • Interesting News
    • Satire
    • The Drink!
    • Travel
    • TV and Movies
    • Viral
  • Shop
What's Hot

Irish competition offers chance to win Dublin home or €500,000 cash

April 14, 2026

The Weirdest Thing Irish People Abroad Get Homesick For

April 9, 2026

The 10 Most Boring Areas of Ireland (ideal for boring people)

April 8, 2026
Facebook X (Twitter) Instagram
Meanwhile in Ireland
  • Home
  • News
  • Craic
  • Sports
  • More
    • All-Time Top Articles
    • Culture
    • Dublin
    • Funny
    • Irish People
    • Interesting News
    • Satire
    • The Drink!
    • Travel
    • TV and Movies
    • Viral
  • Shop
Facebook YouTube Instagram TikTok
Meanwhile in Ireland
You are at:Home » News » Craic » Irishman dies of starvation after waiting on his wife shopping in Dublin
Craic Satire

Irishman dies of starvation after waiting on his wife shopping in Dublin

Gerald LeinsterBy Gerald LeinsterNovember 28, 2019No Comments3 Mins Read
Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
Share:
Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest Email

A married man is reported to have died from starvation after waiting 87 days for his wife to finish shopping in central Dublin.

The story of forty-three-year-old Kilkenny man James Patrick O’Neill has gripped the nation as details of his terrible death on Dublin’s shopping streets emerged.

He’s the 17th Irishman to have died this year as a direct result of waiting for the wife to finish shopping.

‘Dragged Shopping’

Details of the tragedy surfaced when his emaciated remains were found on a bench outside Pennies in Dublin city centre last Friday.

It is believed that O’Neill was dragged on a shopping trip to the capital by his ‘overpowering’ and ‘dominating’ wife.

A Few Bits and Pieces

“I just needed to get a few bits and pieces for the kids going back to school in September.” She told investigating gardaí.

“So I decided to take a trip to Dublin and I wanted James Patrick to carry the bags.”

“In fairness to me, I never intended to spend so long ‘doing’ the shops but shur one thing leads to another. Don’t you know the way it is?” She asked.

“As I was there I decided to look for some Christmas stuff and then, of course, it would have been silly not to get a few things for the Christmas.” The middle-aged Kerry woman told reporters.

God Rest His Soul

“James Patrick had been talking about going off to look at the National Museum.” She said.

“To be honest I couldn’t trust him to get back in time to help carry the shopping — in fairness that’s all he’s good for, I mean that’s all he was good for, God rest his soul.”

“Anyway,” she continued. I decided to chain him to a bench so he wouldn’t wander off, while I spent a few minutes in the shops.

“I did go back with the bags every few days and he seemed fine. He was great at keeping an eye on the bags.

“But anyway again, I saw this lovely frock at half price but couldn’t make up my mind between the red one and the blue one. You know the way it is?” She asked again.

The view of the Pathologist

Consultant pathologist Dr Maria O’Brien told the media, “This is a very common occurrence.” She said.

“It is quite a normal phenomenon for middle-aged women especially ‘up from the country’ losing all track of time when shopping.

“To be honest, eighty-seven-days to buy a few bits and pieces would be quite usual for most women — especially if they are distracted by a frock.”

“Ok,” she added. “Perhaps she should have been more mindful of the health and safety of her husband but you know how it is when you can’t make up your mind about the colour.”

Dublin City Council has immediately responded to the tragedy with a spokesperson promising that city centre husband crèches and drop-off points are soon to be located around the city.

Disclaimer

This article is satire. Articles in this section are spoof articles which should not be taken as the truth, nor are they are intended to offend. However, if you are offended, please inform us formally via a letter. You can ensure it gets to us by placing it in the nearest recycling bin.

Share. Facebook Twitter WhatsApp Pinterest LinkedIn Tumblr Email
Avatar photo
Gerald Leinster
  • Website

Gerald Leinster is one of Ireland's most noteworthy journalists, columnists and commentator on Irish and international issues. Often accused of being more right-wing than Genghis Khan whom he admires greatly, Gerald is an Oxbridge graduate. He has authored many best-selling books including the recent ' The Margaret Thatcher I knew and Loved' and his previous bestseller 'Reagan, Bush, and Trump -- Gods of Their Time.' In his spare time, you might find Gerald relaxing on a golf course in Kildare, watching International rugby or dining out in Dublin's more fashionable restaurants. Although he strives for a professional journalistic apolitical stance, he feels strongly about the reunification of Ireland and the UK. He also holds membership of both Fine Gael and Fianna Fail.

Related Posts

The Unwritten Law of the Round

By Charlotte DumontApril 2, 2026

10 Irish Slang Words Tourists Always Get Wrong

By Allan MuniuApril 1, 2026

The Good Room Mentality In Irish Pubs

By Charlotte DumontMarch 25, 2026

10 Dramatic Things Irish Mammies Say 

By Meanwhile in Ireland TeamMarch 19, 2026
Our Official Sponsor
Latest Articles

Irish competition offers chance to win Dublin home or €500,000 cash

April 14, 2026

The Weirdest Thing Irish People Abroad Get Homesick For

April 9, 2026

The 10 Most Boring Areas of Ireland (ideal for boring people)

April 8, 2026

10 Irish Habits Tourists Will Never Understand

April 8, 2026

More craic. Better deals. Free stuff.

The funniest Irish content, exclusive shop discounts and prize giveaways straight to your inbox.

You're in!

Check your email for your discount and the latest from us.

Stay In Touch
  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Instagram
  • TikTok
Don't Miss

Everybody’s favourite ‘mean girl’ spotted in Wicklow for new movie

By Katie MorrisSeptember 6, 2022

Lindsay Lohan has officially touched down in Wicklow, Ireland to shoot the upcoming Netflix rom-com…

7 Times The Irish Weather Broke The National Spirit

March 16, 2026

All-star Irish cast set to star in new movie adaptation

April 21, 2023

Ireland should appoint José Mourinho as their next manager. Here’s why.

January 23, 2024

We specialise in Bizarre Irish News, Viral Videos and general Irish Craic.

  • Home
  • About us
  • Contact us
  • Team
  • Work for us
  • Terms of use
  • Privacy policy
  • Disclaimer
  • Copyright
  • Shop
Follow us

Connect with us on your favourite social media app.

Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube TikTok
Contact us

19 Arthur St, Belfast, Northern Ireland, BT1 4GA.

[email protected]
©Copyright 2019 - Meanwhile in Ireland | Trading under Emerald Green Media

Type above and press Enter to search. Press Esc to cancel.