A twenty-seven-year-old girl has denied that she is both jealous and suspicious of her boyfriend and claimed that she is only using a drone to help in her research as an urban planner.
Sally O’Driscoll of 54 Suffolk Gardens Newbridge, County Kildare told friends she hasn’t got a “jealous bone in me body”. The declaration came after Sally’s work colleague Helen accused her of using a predator camera drone to spy on her boyfriend George.
Drone missing from site
“I saw you take the drone from the site,” Helen accused. “What else would you be doing with it?” she asked, as Sally continuously glanced at a live-feed on her smart-phone.
“Jaysus you’re a right jealous cow, so you are,” said Helen, who then continued; “Can’t you give George a bit of a break and fecking trust him — he seems a decent sort of a bloke. Seriously, you can’t be stalking him like that.”
‘Sally the Stalker’
Sally, who lost her last boyfriend when he dropped her after he discovered her reading his text messages on a near-daily basis, has a long history of failed relationships.
Known in Newbridge as ‘Sally the Stalker’, she was once arrested when Gardaí discovered her going through the rubbish bin of another lad she was seeing and she subsequently underwent court-ordered psychotherapy.
Under the influence of medication
Currently under medication for severe neurosis, she is given to fits of jealousy, rage and a weird sort of a hormonal imbalance which manifests itself at times of a full moon.
It is rumoured in Newbridge that Sally once applied for jobs in the CIA and with MI6 who both turned her down on the grounds of ‘mental unsuitability’. She remains, however, an active member of Young Fine Gael.
Night-vision
“You’d want to calm down,” Helen advised her. “For feck-sake, you can’t be following the young-fella everywhere and to be honest that blonde wig and sunglasses doesn’t fool anyone. We all saw you parked up outside his mother’s house the other night with your night-vision binoculars.
“And for the love and honour of God, don’t be using that drone to be spying on him — Jaysus the young-fella is entitled to a bit of privacy,” Helen went on.
Sally, whose credit card receipts show numerous purchases of GPS tracking devices, still wouldn’t admit to using the drone to keep herself up to the minute informed of George’s whereabouts.
However, amidst the argument, Sally accidentally murmured to herself; “He’s just leaving soccer training now,” as she watched the live-feed and cursed at the poor WIFI coverage in the pub.
Missile strike launched
“Look, look,” Sally suddenly shouted, “I knew he was seeing someone else, that’s another woman in the front seat with him. The dirty rotten lying bastard,” she said.
Sally then began angrily entering numerical codes and pushing red buttons on her smart-phone and screaming “I’ll fix the lying cheating boll**ks”.
Meanwhile in Ireland have learned that Gardaí in Newbridge are investigating a drone operated missile strike just outside the town. Both George and his granny are believed to be ‘missing in action’.
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