“Tell your f**king nanny to put a coat on if she’s cold,” says Leo Varadkar

Political correspondents in Dublin were in shock today when Tánaiste Leo Varadkar appeared to lose his temper when approached by a worried member of the public.

The normally composed Tánaiste is reported as uttering the non-parliamentary languaged statement, “Tell your f**king nanny to put on a coat if she’s cold”, to a twenty-year-old Dublin office worker.

The officer worker had allegedly merely asked the former Taoiseach how her octogenarian grandmother would be able to cope with rising fuel costs.

Angry Varadkar – tell your granny to stick a coat on

“Tell your f**king nanny to put a coat on if she’s cold,” says Leo Varadkar
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MeanwhileinIreland’s political reporter Saoirse Ní Bosom Mhór witnessed what she described as Varadkar’s appalling behaviour.

“It was terrible, just like the scene from the movie Oliver, where the kid comes up the auld fella and says, ‘Please Sir, can I have some more?’ Leo just turns around and growls at her.”

“All the poor, misfortunate girl did was ask Leo could he do anything to advise her grandmother on how to cope with the rising cost of fuel.” Ní Bosom Mhór said.

A journalist with more than twenty years of experience covering the worst of Dublin’s gangland crime Ní Bosom Mhór was visibly shaken by the experience.

“I’ve never heard language like it.” She said. “And the look on his face was frightening”, she continued. “It wasn’t the Leo that we’ve all grown to love and respect.”

“The Leo that would buy you a mint tea in the Dáil Bar or sit with you in a quiet corner discussing your relationship problems – the Leo who you could trust to keep a secret. No, he was like a man possessed.”

A man possessed – office worker tells us her tale

He was described as a man possessed.
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MeanwhileinIreland caught up with Lindsey McIntyre, the twenty-year-old office worker who was the victim of the Tánaiste’s tirade, as she was being treated for post-traumatic shock in Dublin’s St James’ Hospital.

“I was just walking along Dawson Street on my way to my Legion of Mary weekly meeting. Just outside of Cafe en Seine, this black Mercedes pulls in on the double yellow lines, and Leo gets out. I didn’t recognise him at first. His garda driver was holding the car door open and blocking my view”. The medical team administered more sedatives as Lindsey went on.

“You see,” Lindsey bravely continued while sobbing gently, “My granny, or gran-gran, as we call her, is in her eighties and finds it very hard to make ends meet. She suffers terribly from arthritis and needs to keep warm. As soon as I recognised Leo, I thought I’d ask him for some advice.”

She paused to fight the tears, “He looks so nice, smiley, and approachable on the telly. I got such a shock when he brushed passed me and used the bad F word”. Lindsey told us this before slipping away into an induced coma.

What does he have to say for himself? – a few options from the press office

The Tánaiste’s press office issued three statements to choose from.
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When asked to comment, the Tánaiste’s press office issued the following three statements and suggested we pick one.

1. As the Tánaiste’s garda driver was reportedly present at the alleged incident, we consider it a security issue, and we don’t comment on security issues.

2. We are investigating the incident and will not be in a position to issue a statement until our investigations are complete. Perhaps in a year or two.

3. All our operators are busy right now. Your call is important to us. Please hold.

MeanwhileinIreland has learned that Lindsey is expected to make a full recovery and that she and her granny are moving to Ukraine, where fuel is cheaper.